How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

I could strip , fault find , repair, clean and reassemble most small arms used by US military by 11.

They were running from room to room to escape , when storm dropped I went to sleep on floor , it took me till just a few weeks ago to understand where that came from, 55 years of acting that way in thunderstorms.

How about an answer from the other side!

Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun... A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying. One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever.. We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc If u want pics of her text me.

When I knew a trigger had happened , I had to tell her “ it’s gonna be a restless night , I’ll sleep on sofa , not touch or speak to me , don’t try to help, just leave me , “ she didn’t get it.i was aware of what caused it , it was a thunder storm , I was afraid if it but I became very angry and aggressive , I patrolled the entire house all night , disturbing whole house , ready to fight the world , all while still asleep. I carried makeshift weapons . Scared the shit out if 7 other of her family, they didn’t listen to her ,

moved into her house , we shared a room

I offered no explanation, they were too afraid to push it , really tense day , I hated the fact that her mum and two sisters were too afraid to be in same room as me, all I could say was I told you not to touch me or get involved, I stayed in the room where the sofa was sleep raging , untill dad opened door with brother to try to help , I decked them both , but door was open now , I patrolled house as if no one else was in house they quickly learned to keep out if the way and I ignored them like the Borg in Star Trek.

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had only one friend there , for about 15 months , till he got stabbed to death in 1980, I had a group that always hung around me for protection as I was a hard little fucker , small for my age never hit past 5ft 6 1/2. Was trained to fight by adoptive dad , sometimes 4–5 would sleep on my floor as they darent go to their rooms . But occasionally I had nightmares and freak outs that always ended badly till every body learned to leave me alone and do t interact with me .

eventually maybe even reluctantly got my first girl at 19.

in army I was flying , already had big head start , was used as examples to others , my problem was lack of formal education , had education level of 11 at 16. But same problem , nightmares , freak outs , till senior nco took me to one side, spoke to me as equal, that’s when I knew when it would happen, what triggered it , I would tell him and he d arrange for a single room for me , told all the rest to not interfere, or try help , that’s when I learned to never leave this room , a code word to tell rest of them it’s ok now , he kept me away from shrinks or been kicked out if army cos I more than useful .

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then it went to shit in 1974, ended up in U.K. care system again, they had never come across any one like me , I kept to myself , refused to mix with others , refused offers of temporary care or adoption ,didn’t attend school, after 6 months my odd behaviour was accepted as u was no trouble, rarely ate at meal times , did my own laundry , cleaned my own room , others had to share , not me , had access to kitchen did my own meals after 8pm , left it cleaner than I found it ,

I was messed up, abandoned many times , ignored , left to manage alone many many times.

But only I know

Since the rise of feminism, the dating market has shifted to the disadvantage of men and that is causing this incel phenomenon. Why do women not understand how lonely the majority of men are?

There were 4–5 instances a year fading to 1 per year as I got older so in 32 years my wife saw maybe 100 instances, each time gleaming a little bit more info , I never expanded on any of this , read my past li es in Quora to learn more,

Was never promoted in 11 year I was in army , but I was a bloody good grunt , temperament of a rat catcher’s terrier, fast able ,

I can’t forgive others so I can’t be forgiven

Why after 50 years of being straight do I constantly desire to suck cock?

I eventually fell asleep at back of front door, my girlfriend, her stepdad and step brother sat on stairs watching me from abou 4am till 8 , he didn’t go to work , girlfriend didn’t either, no one dare go about their daily business,

I walked out at 16 as I had secretly joined British army , told no one I was going,

I awoke after 4 hours of not moving wondering g WTF , they all looked terrified as I still had golf club in my hand, totally naked.

I think that being gay is wrong, but I treat gay people respectfully like any other person. Is it homophobic? Or offensive in any kind of way? Aren’t disagreement and discrimination two different things?

I was terrified if her witnessing my flaws

I C was extremely independent, refusing help from others even on thing I clearly couldn’t manage , this frustrated everyone around me , I now know where that comes from , the last 3–4 months have been enlightening, I had a road to Damascus moment , and so much of my life now makes sense ( thanks to Quora and online lady called Lara Leon).

I told her “ I will never hit you , never cheat o. You, if you want me to never lie don’t ask about my past cos I will lie”

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Put in care at 5 adopted at 7 taken to another country , from 7–11 I was taught by adoptive dad to survive in a military way , I often disappeared on US military base , to live for a few days rough , mum taught me how to keep house , cook clean , iron clothes, very independent , capable by 11, could hunt , kill prey , cook it eat it without getting food poisoning, make camp, shelter, was equal to most service men aged 25 , dad was an expert,.

Ayer walking out in my wife and daughters 10 years ago, I’m only one to know , working this out on my own , but I can’t go back till I’m fixed, even then it’s only maybe , cos what fucked me ip was constantly been abandoned, then I realised recently that that’s what I did to them ,